I was just reading that the Alaska North Slope oilfields will largely play out in my lifetime. My father made good money working for one of the companies that built the Alyeska Pipeline.  Some day the Alyeska Pipeline and the North Slope fields will be history. And so will your business.

But this doesn’t mean my father’s work was wasted. It means his work meant something other than he might have thought.

Business people spend a tremendous amount of their lives building and running their businesses. But it’s unlikely that anything substantial will remain from these businesses in another generation or two. With the rapid rate of technological change, we’re mostly working on some version of a dried out pipeline, a software program that will draw ridicule from the next generation of users, or a retail concept that will be driven from the scene by faster and smarter competitors.

Someday, sooner than you think, no one will really care about your business.

So what does our business really mean in the grand scheme of things? It should mean something more than the physical output of its machines, computers, or people. It should make some contribution to our culture, our families, and the world. It should make lives richer and happier. It should help build schools, and care for those in need. It should teach virtue and compassion, and other values that will pay forward to the lives of people 100 or 200 years from now.

When I drive through an older city, I see scant evidence of the businesses that paid the wages of the local population. What I’m more likely to see is evidence of the values and intentions of those businesses – whether or not they paid fair wages, picked up their trash, and paid their taxes. The businesses will be largely gone. The legacy of their products will be seen in museum displays. Their lasting legacy will be seen in the lives of people.

I didn’t learn from my father how to build an oil pipeline, but I learned a great deal that will be passed on through generations. That’s what Dad was really building, and that will last for a long time indeed.

by Steve Motenko

“Can’t we all get along?”

Ironically, Rodney King may ultimately be remembered more for publicly uttering that prophetic question than for getting the crap beaten out of him by LA cops – which is what got him in front of the microphones to ask the question.

And in a way, if we took the question seriously, we could resolve countless workplace dilemmas.

Here’s why:  Most of what we find objectionable in the workplace can be framed as what Jim & I discussed in this week’s show:  personality quirks.  We deny them in ourselves, and we don’t tolerate them in others.

Maybe the end of denial would signal the beginning of tolerance.  I dare you not to recognize yourself in at least one of the 10 Personality Quirks That Drive Coworkers Nuts from this week’s The Boss Show.  If you don’t recognize yourself in any of them, you’re lying to yourself …

We try to offer a few tips for dealing with these quirks – whether they describe you or that horrible other person.

Starting here: we can accept coworkers’ (and our own!) quirks better if we can do one relatively simple thing:  understand the motivation that underlies them.

Very few people are intentionally malicious.  Most bad behavior can be attributed to good (or at least self-protective) motivations … overused.  The Perfectionist craves quality and fears embarrassment.  The Social Butterfly craves connection and fears isolation.  The Multitasker craves accomplishment and contribution, and fears boredom and criticism.

Here’s my challenge for you, for your next day at work:  Every time you feel challenged by a coworker’s “personality quirk,” ask yourself “What is the flip side of that trait?  Where’s the positive motivation – or understandable anxiety – at the source of it?”

That question might net you some tolerance, and help you answer, in the affirmative, Rodney King’s famous question.

by Steve Motenko

We’re not supposed to show emotions in the workplace.

Bullcrap, I say.

Emotions in the workplace imply neither strength nor weakness. Emotions in the workplace are a given.  Our feelings are intertwined with all our motivations, our dreams, our life satisfaction.  Ignore them or suppress them, and life becomes flat and inauthentic.

In the workplace, what matters is not what emotions we experience.  Specific emotions aren’t good or bad, right or wrong.  Showing tears doesn’t mean we’re weak (though it’s often interpreted that way), and showing anger doesn’t mean we’re strong (though it’s often interpreted that way).

Only two things matter about workplace emotions:  (1) What we can learn from them, and (2) How we deal with them.

Anger, fear, frustration, hurt — they all give us clues about what needs to change in our work experience, in our approach to our jobs, or in our relationships with co-workers.  If we interpret their messages wisely, and we manage our behavior effectively in the presence of strong emotion, we become more successful. This is what great leaders do.

Martin Luther King was driven into his life’s profound work by the powerful emotions that came up when he was forced to move to the back of the bus as a high schooler. He got angry; really angry.  What did he do with that anger?  He could have become a serial murderer.  Instead, he channeled it into behavior that made him an international hero.

I often counsel my coaching clients:  In dealing with your own or a co-worker’s emotional display, don’t address the emotion.  Address the motivation that underlies it.  Only then will you begin to resolve conflicts – both inner and outer.

By Jim Hessler

Just this week I’ve had three different clients say to me “I don’t want to be seen as a complainer.” The word ‘complain’ has such a negative connotation, as if complaining was a basic character flaw.

I think a person who never complains isn’t paying attention. Intelligent observers see the gap between what is and what could be. People who never complain seem lifeless and uninteresting to me. Relentlessly positive people are relentlessly annoying.

And it’s not as if we don’t have things to complain about. There’s the awful coffee at the business meetings, Bill’s monthly sales presentation which always makes me want to kick him in the groin, the balky computer, the dismissive boss, and the loud music at the restaurant. I could go on and on.

I don’t think things would ever get much better without some good old-fashioned complaining. No news definitely isn’t good news, especially in business cultures that deflect or discourage complaining.

Listening to a complaint can be tough. I’m likely to feel personally attacked even if it’s not warranted. I’m likely to feel annoyed by the person who points out how my carefully selected course of action isn’t working or my choice of snacks for the company meeting wasn’t well considered. I’m likely to feel slowed and distracted by complaints as I try to work my daily plan. I’m likely to think poorly of the complainer, and to label, fairly or unfairly, their behavior as victimhood, negativity, or just plain crappy attitude. In other words, my response might be to complain about the complaint.

Be careful not to dismiss complaints so quickly. Sometimes the complainer has something very important to say. It might be something our ego doesn’t want to hear, but it’s important nonetheless. Obviously there are people whose approach is persistently negative, and as coaches and friends we can sometimes guide these people towards a more positive mindset. But the complainer is just as often a person who’s really thinking about things, who sees the gaps, and who may be speaking for any number of others who are more hesitant to complain.

Coach yourself and your people to bring forward complaints in a professional and problem-solving manner, but don’t create an environment that’s hostile to complaints. As hard as it may be to listen, we must.